SONGS

Cruise Missile Rhapsody (by Mark Hoolihan)
(To the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)

Is this my Jihad
Or Bush's fantasy
Caught in an airstrike
They're carpet bombing me
Open your eyes
Look up to the sky and see
I'm such a tough guy
I need no sympathy
Because the Taliban lets me know
Where to hide, where to go
Anywhere the bombs fall, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Allah, killed six thousand
Of Al Qaeda I'm the head
Sent the orders now they're dead
Allah, my Jihad's begun
But now they bomb my terrorist camps each day
Allh, ooo
Only other men should die
If Delta force gets me sometime tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Cruise missiles near all the time
Good bye, everybody, I've got to hide
Gotta leave civilian lives to take the pain
Allah-ooo
Anywhere the bombs fall
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I could escape blame and all

I see a little vendetta of a man
Osama, Osama, will you distort the Koran?
Anthrax strikes like lighting, very, very frightening me
US Air Force, US Air Force
US Air Force, US Air Force
US Air Force - Cruise Missile -Magnifico!

But I'm just a Rich boy poor muslims love me
He's Just a rich boy murders with his money
Ignores starving people in his locality
Smart bombs come, smart bombs go, will you let me go
Murderer - no, we will not let you go - let me go
Murderer - we will not let you go - let me go
Murderer - we will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never!)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - oo
No, No, No, No!
Oh Colin Powell, Colin Powell, Colin Powell let me go
Donald Rumsfeld has a cruise missile aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can hurt us and then run and hide?
So you think only Afghan civilians will die?
O-sama Can't get away baby
Just gonna find out, just gonna find out where you are

Ooh-yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see, nothing really matters but me
Anywhere the bombs fall...

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Jerry Falwell stated after Nov. 11th that the terrorist attacks were because we lost the protection of God.  He blamed Liberals, Gays, Civil Liberties and Feminism for the attack.  Everyone it seems except the terrorists.  Pat Robertson supported him. These two obviously do not like America or its values. They need a land run by fundamentalist who agree with them. They need people who think America deserved what it got, liberal ideas should be banned and women kept hidden at home. There is such a place boys,- Afghanistan! Since you don't like America, head there, you'd love it, it's everything you dream of in a country. To send you on your way, here are some traveling anthems. Why...
...because I can.

Taliban
(to the tune of "Proud Mary" by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Left a good job in the USA
Connin' folks for cash every night and day
But I never found the land I was seekin
Worried why we weren't like Taliban

(chorus)
The land of which Falwell's dreamin'
Taliban is creatin'
Fallwell, Fallwell's our Taliban

They don't like liberal thoughts in Kabul
Kill women who speak out down in Kandahar
But I never found people who think like I do
Till I went and joined old Bin Laden's group

Chorus

If you come over the Khyber
You ain't gonna find no welfare type sin
You won't get charity if you're going hungry
Taliban imprisons those who would give

Chorus (2x)

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the hoolinet
Copyright 2001 Boniface Bugle Productions.  All Rights Absurd.

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Somewhere Over the Khyber
(to the tune of "Somewhere over the Rainbow")

Somewhere over the Khyber, Liberals die
There's a good fundamentalist's paradise
Somewhere over the Khyber men must rule
And the dreams that I dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where terrorists do god's bidding
Where women melt from acid drops
away from any liberal thoughts
that's where I'm happy

Somewhere over the Khyber liberals die
Fundamentalists rule there
why then oh why can't I

If Afghans live a live of lies
beyond the Khyber
why oh why can't I

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the hoolinet
Copyright 2001 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.

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Taliban
(To the tune of "Barbara Ann")

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban
bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban
bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban

Oh Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
Your time's at hand
(bomb, bomb ,bomb, bomb Taliban)
Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
We've got you rockin' and a rollin'
rockin' and a reelin'
Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
You help Laden's plans, with terrorist camps
Can't say you weren't warned so you really had your chance
oh Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
Your times at hand
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
You keep your women under wraps
but you'll soon be playin' taps
Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban) 4x
Oh Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
You pissed off a superpower
this will be your final hour
Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
No good do you do
arrest aid workers too
Drugs are sold by you
This behavior just won't do

Oh Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
Your time's at hand
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban)
We'll bomb you until your kneelin
let you know some terror's feelin's
Taliban
(bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Taliban

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the hoolinet
Copyright 2001 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.

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